Donald Duck And His Crappy Cars

For all the progress we’ve made, there are still unsolvable challenges:

  • What is the biological basis of consciousness?
  • Can the laws of physics ever be unified?
  • Can no one design a toy car driven by Donald Duck that doesn’t look completely stupid?

Car not cartoonish; large head makes windshield pointless

Impractical wheel-bearing unit load ratio uses singular-row angular-contact ball bearings

Beret-wearing duck strains credulity

Not Disney authorized; Duck seems severely injured from previous rollover

Horizontal steering wheel; Duck still recovering from serious sawmill accident

Insufficient budget/expertise: paint

Duck appears to be bathing in pool of red liquid; Driver unidentified

Macrocephaly, Inexplicable cricket; Duck poised for Isadora Duncan-like death
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